Monday 20 May 2013

2nd Star to the Left, & Straight on til Morning

I write this whilst still shaking from the trauma of what befell me today. What was once just the paranoid insanity of a New Mother turned into real life in just moments. It was like a real episode of 999 only without the knowledge we all had when watching, that it obviously all turned out ok in the end. I can't really tell you how it happened, it was all so quick, and the moments that followed were filled with my life flashing before me, which, as chronicled in 7 books to date, took quite a while...What had started out as an ordinary day trip to Toddlers turned into an ugly nightmare no one could have predicted, what follows is an account, built up from the testimonies of those present, of what happened...

After leaving the Toddler group, Mam lay Mu down in the pushchair in an attempt to get her to have an extra nap. I, strapped to the pushchair by my built in hook was next to Mu. Dad, being a man of many tasks was still helping to clear up the toys, assist mums to their cars, transport signs & adhere to the school "signing in policy" (the toddlers is run in a school nursery) meaning our journey home, approximately 500 yards, involved an excessive amount of to-ing & fro-ing. It's unclear at what point our usual fun filled afternoon took a turn for the worse, neither Mam nor Dad can recall the moment itself & asking Mu only resulted in a 4 minute babble, with lots of pointing & gesturing, to which we can't really be sure if she was talking about the same thing or not...however, what we do know is that I found myself in a position that you train & train for but always hope you'll never have to draw upon...with a rush of wind through my ribbon mane & a 2 & 1/2 turn double axle somersault I found myself face down on the pavement...yes my friends, I was A LOST TOY.

I'll let you drink in that last sentence for a moment. The reality of what this meant took a while to sink in with me as I lay there, gravel between my teeth, trying to maintain my stitched on smile while the panic welled up inside...however, as I was there contemplating whether on not my new status as lost would lead me to join a group of children who refuse to grow up, or a clan if 80s vampires, I found myself being lifted to the heavens and suddenly in the hands of Dad...

In desperate need of a paper bag, & "a clean pair of shorts", I heard the distant tones of a small boy state "Ere, ya baby's dropped its toy..." it was like the sweet melody of Elgars Cello Concerto and I was, with great thanks, clipped back onto the pushchair, my paws gripping the biscuit & banana encrusted straps like a hamster does your finger with its teeth.

The whole incident left me bereft of words & shaking so my built in Roar was constant...on reflection, the trauma of being lost did start to fade & as I reflected on the whole thing to Dolly upon my return, the most traumatizing thing was THAT NO ONE NOTICED I'D GONE...

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